So far for me there’s a very fine line in learning this dance between utter discouragement and fiery motivation. It’s like I have tango bipolar disorder. I jump between these two feelings on a whim.
On one hand I watch really experienced dancers pull off beautiful moves so effortlessly, while their partner seem like they’re in a state of bliss – it must be such a great embrace and wonderful feeling between the two of them. But then it sinks in that I’m nowhere near that level yet, and it’s such a long way for me in getting there, especially since I can’t seem to find any consistent practice partners yet. After I flail around on the dance floor it just seems like it’s just a series of failures with no reward in sight.
On the other hand, I could be watching those same experienced dancers and be thinking that all their moves that they’re doing… so polished, so elegant, so graceful, like they’ve done it a million times…yet it’s so boring, it’s so rote. They don’t have to necessarily go extreme and do some super nuevo or neo tango moves, but where’s the creativity in their dance? Where’s their personal style? Are their dancing personalities really that boring? This is when I get a fire in my belly and think if only I could just master all the vocabulary and nuances of the dance, I’d be able to focus on the music and let my natural creative dance skills shine. Perhaps this is a weird criteria I’m judging people on – but I like to imagine if I were to strip away everyone’s lessons, their formal path to this dance, and I just presented to them a very simple, innocent danceable song, like The Jackson Five’s “I Want You Back”, what would their exact moves be without any instruction? What is their primal dance style? I don’t think a lot of leaders would be able to just let loose. I’d be able to give people such exciting and wild dances compared to these “leads”! But perhaps that’s just my ego getting the best of me…Tango after all could just be very enjoyable with a good embrace, walk, and some musicality.
Ah well, back to the grind.